Never Get Out of Your Head
by benodite
Summary: Ben's first kiss was with his best friend of three months Yamamoto Julie. Her lips faintly tasted like peach lip gloss. For Dante. Not Julie x Ben. This is COMPLETE. If you want a happy ending for ships read Nothing Lasts.


Ben adjusted his tie for the second time in as many minutes. He'd never in a million years be able to fit into Grandpa Max's old suit. maybe _almost_ if he wore the plumbers' suit under it. Though that was in all honesty something he wasn't planning to do. His grandfather had easily been over a head and a half taller than him at his age. Slightly taller than that guy who had stolen his watch that day six months prior.

He sighed and ran a hand through his jelled hair, his Mother had went out of her way to ensure it was cruelty free but it had a strange smell to it, like car air freshener and greenhouses.

He'd gotten a new watch of course, a shiny green, black and white deal. It was nothing but an imitation with muted colors compared to the original but he wore it regardless. Instead of having to pull out his plumbers badge for every little thing he'd found someone within the plumbers to equip it with some practical functions. DNA scanner for identification, communications system, connectivity to the Extranet, galactic translator, and a wide variety of other little necessities. No iPod function yet, though he had hopes.

His heart pounded double time when he heard a knock at the door. His cousin Gwen's eyes lifted from the text book in her hands long enough to follow his path to the door.

Julie awaited him, pink dress long and sleek, a white shrug on. Her bobcut curled around her face cutely. Gwen rose from the couch with a closing of her thick book.

"You two ready?" she blew her bangs out of her face and adjusted her sweater vest. Julie looked weak in the knees from nerves. Ben wisely chose to say nothing. His cousin owed him this one favor, and it wasn't as if he and _his_ cousin were close even after cross dimensional travel. He'd rather have Gwen 10 with him any day. A favor was a favor though and she had her license while his parents kept forgetting to help him get his permit.

"Yeah, we're ready." Julie gripped her arm and smiled stiffly. Ben's Mom came, quite nearly, out of the woodwork. Nokia phone in hand she grinned at the three teens.

"Picture ready? Aren't you just adorable!"

"Mom..." Ben groaned, embarrassed. He just wanted the night to be over and done with. His Mom just had to come out with her Nokia like she was from prehistory.

"Mrs. Tennyson we were just about to go-" Julie began before his Mom cut her off.

"Sandra, call me Sandra, dear." Ben groaned into the palm of his hand. He couldn't do anything it was all up to Julie now. He knew he was going to get grilled as soon as he got home. _What songs did you dance to? Did you open the door for her? I hope you weren't eating any of those poisonous artificial sweets._

"We need to go aunt Sandra. I'm driving them there and they don't want to be late." Gwen hooked a an arm around the both of them and steered them out the door.

"How responsible. Call if you need anything, okay? Don't stay out past ten." Ben heaved a sigh of relief to finally be out of the house. The night air however was no less suffocating. He peeked over at Julie to see her looking at him as well.

"I..uh. You look pretty tonight, Julie." Ben fumbled with the backseat driver side door and let Julie climb it. He stood with the door opened and Julie staring up at him like a deer caught in the headlights. Her Mouth opened and closed several times.

"You...you too, Ben." Gwen frowned at them in the rear view mirror.

"Do you two want to go to the dance or am I supposed to just sit here in the drivers seat while you two fumble through a conversation?" Ben winced, heart clenching painfully. Yeah, he'd prefer Gwen 10's company any day. He slammed the door none too gently and climbed in through the opposite door to sit next to Julie.

The car ride was silent, Julie wrung her hands together in her lap, sneaking fervid glances at the back of Gwen's head. He didn't bother starting another conversation with either of the girls and instead looked out the window, staring at the faint twinkling of stars and what lie beyond it. He wondered what any other alternative version of him was up to. Wondered if Gwen 10 was getting to bed on time, if maybe she was having a sleepover with Grandpa and him.

Wondered if that doofus Ben 23 had friends in right places. He was the only other "Good Ben" he knew of that wasn't close to his cousin.

But above all else he wondered what Ben Prime was doing. Maybe he was looking at the same stars and feeling just as lonely. It was a childish thought but it entertained him long enough that it felt like the ride to his school went by quicker than usual.

Gwen dropped them off at the curb with a nod and Julie stammered through a thank you. Julie and he didn't hold hands once as they marched to the school's doors like inmates on death row.

He was a supernova.

The dim lighting of the gym made his stomach twist in knots. Julie stood at his side on the outskirts of the floor, against the wall, for a solid two hours. Their classmates giggled at them as they passed the pair. Ben downed his fifth cup of fruit punch while Julie applied and reapplied her peach lip gloss. Kiss stains on a napkin gripped tightly in the palm of her hand.

He asked her to dance, sweaty hands and racing heart. A gun to each of their heads, she accepts after a moment's deliberation. The two friends moved closer to one another and wrapped awkward limbs around flushed necks and dress clad lower backs.

Ben hadn't had the misfortune of dancing like this in his life. Maybe he could've once but the wedding had been canceled and Gwen didn't want to employ what she'd learned in cotillion for nothing.

They stared at each other as they swayed gently along the dance floor.

"Thanks for going with me Julie. Mom insisted that I go." Julie looked at him from under short, dark lashes. Her eyes shone with uncertainty.

"Ben, does this make us a thing?" _No. No. You're not the one I want. I'm not the one you want._

"It's what everyone will expect of us, isn't it?" He laughed, sweat beading along the back of his neck.

"No more sleep overs and movie marathons? No Mr Smoothy's smoothie of the week competitions?"

"Only _no closed doors_ rules and kissing in front of our parents to prove we're an item." Julie toyed with the hair along the back of his neck, biting her lower lip. If he weren't in this particular situation he would've been relaxed by the gesture.

Julie leaned up the short distance between them and lead Ben into a soft kiss. Ben's eyes widened, brain short circuiting. Julie's eyes were squeezed so tightly shut that Ben feared she'd never be able to open them again. Her brows furrowed in concentration and all Ben could think about was how this was probably the worst kiss to ever take place in Bellwood. The second thought that came to mind was that it felt like he was kissing his cousin.

The third thought was the most jarring. His skin crawled with the abject wrongness of this act between them, felt horrified that Julie didn't have short brown hair. That she wasn't wearing a green and black t-shirt, that she didn't have the prettiest emerald eyes he had ever seen.

They jerked away from each other after thirty seconds, both looking sick to their stomachs. Ben felt dizzy as he watched Julie scrub the back of her hand against her lips, peach lip gloss smearing off and leaving a faintly sparkling slather of cosmetics against her hand.

"I'm sorry Ben!" Julie said, eyes teary. She looked as disgusted and humiliated as he did. "We can't date. We...we just can't. That was awful! Neither of us wanted that. W-what are we going to do?" Ben shook his head, struggling to find his voice. He could hear the unspoken words _you're not her._

"W-we can't." his legs decided to work with out his permission and he was gone, running through the doors of the gym, trying to put the memory of his first and last kiss with Yamamoto Julie out of his head.

He arrived at Grandpa Max's motor home in record time, doubled over with his hands on his knees trying to not feel sick. He scrubbed at his eyes to stop the tears from coming and knocked on Grandpa Max's door. He answered, pot in one hand, door propped open with a hip that had supposedly been bad since 1986.

"Ben?"

"Mind if I help make dinner, Grandpa?" Grandpa Max decided to say nothing, giving into the pleading look in his grandson's eyes.

"I was just about to start on a squid tentacle gumbo. It takes awhile to cook though..."

"Don't worry, Grandpa, I have all the time in the world for you." Ben climbed into the Rust Bucket and the next three and a half hours whizzed by. Plumbers stories and the occasional mention of the lovers Grandpa Max had had along the way. Before he knew it it was already 2:45.

Grandpa didn't ask any questions during his stay, didn't need to as he took in the slump of Ben's shoulders and the way his bottom lip would tremble before he got control of himself again.

"Take care of yourself, Ben..." Grandpa Max sent him off. Ben walked himself home despite Grandpa Max's insistence that he could easily drop him off at home.

He took his time going home, eyes glued to the skies, sending looks over his shoulders just in case.

It wasn't until shortly after 4 in the morning that he got home.

His Mother sat on the couch, arms crossed. His Father was slumped on the couch next to her.

"Benjamin Kirby Tennyson do you know what time it is?!" His Mother was up on her feet and at his side in an instant. He avoided her eyes, bangs hanging in his eyes.

He ignored her and headed up stairs to his bedroom, his Mother's hand gripped his arm but he shook it off.

Ben flopped face first onto his covers and did his best to merge with his bed and forget the world for a few hours.

He could hear his Father's groggy voice muffled through the door.

Footsteps paced back and forth outside his bedroom door before they entered his room. His Mother stood over him for what felt like hours, scrutinizing him.

"Ben, what happened. You can tell me anything. You need to talk to me instead of having me wait for you for hours on end with no clue if you're even alive." she sat next to him, the bed squeaking under her sudden weight. "I promise I won't be mad."

Ben rolled over onto his side, still refusing to meet Sandra's eyes.

"My date with Julie was a bust." he took a shaky breath, tears welling up once again.

"What happened?" Sandra urged him, voice gentler than before.

"She kissed me."

Sandra hesitated, taking a moment to carefully choose her words. The longer she took the more his frustration mounted.

"...And that's a bad thing why?" Ben sat up quickly, glaring at a spot just beyond her shoulder.

"I'm the wrong cousin!" he wanted to punch himself at how loud his words were. He was sure half the block had heard. His Mother blinked at the sudden outburst, pursing her lips. "and...and..." his breathing grew quicker, red hot tears over flowing "I'm...I'm not...I'm..." his shoulders drew up to his ears. His face down to his neck flushed a ruddy red as a look of dawning realization filled his Mother's face.

She pulled him into a tight hug as the dams broke. His shoulder's shook as he sobbed into the side of her neck. She rocked the both of them gently.

"It's okay. Shhh, it's going to be all okay. Nothing lasts."

Ben wanted to believe her.


End file.
